When the Apple Watch launched in 2015, Apple gifted artists like Beyonce and Katy Perry with real gold versions as a marketing campaign. No celebrity endorsement competes with this (seemingly organic and slightly NSFW) take from Mr. Buy U a Drank himself, T-Pain, however.

Google Glass-shaped hole in his heart

You have to give it up to T-Pain for basically inventing the use of auto-tune as a way to make vocals as ridiculous as possible. Evidently, T-Pain has been walking around with a chip on his shoulder for years over how society shunned Google Glass out of existence.

“Y’all thought y’all was gonna leave me in this mundane, bad graphics having @$$, boring, no color having @$$ reality. You are sadly mistaken. You got another thing coming, and I’m calling the cops because you fit the description of a hater,” T-Pain says while walking around the ARIA hotel and casino in Las Vegas.

“I’m just letting you know, y’all ain’t leaving me behind in this terrible looking world. I’m gone forever. I’m wearing this b!t¢h everywhere. It’s over. Y’all shut down Google Glass because y’all said ain’t nobody gonna wear them damn glasses with the little, with the little Dragon Ball Z thing on the side of it. You said wasn’t nobody gonna wear them $h!t and y’all canceled that.”

(Gotta respect T-Pain’s shoutout to the Scouter. Who’s making the first Scouter app for Vision Pro?! Anyone remember the “I Am T-Pain” auto-tune app for iPhone? Another Vision Pro must.)

“Gather up that four grand…”

Never again, he declares, as he lets the world know that he won’t let that happen again with Apple Vision Pro.

“Now they gone and now look what we left with. Now it’s too late. Now we can’t go back. It’s over. Y’all not leaving me behind in this dumb@$$ world. I want to see everything through this mother******* now and it’s going down. I appreciate y’all trying, but futile. It’s what I call that $h!t. Uh-huh. So, I’ll see y’all on the inside. Gather up that four grand and come kick it with a ***** on the inside. I’ll see y’all there. Peace out.”

Honestly, he just might be singlehandedly turning Vision Pro into an elite status symbol and not just a Daft Punk-style set of techno goggles.

Again, slightly NSFW, PG-13, your mileage may vary, proceed with caution, thank your captain, etc.

Terrible auto-tune headline pun inspo via @blizaine on X

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